I'm not one for New Years resolutions. It's the expectations of completely reinventing myself for me. And because of these high expectations, they rarely get followed through.
As I mature and gain a stronger self of self though, I want to manifest, not set unrealistic expectations. I think that a large part of New Year expectations are down to how you want others to see you - not putting yourself first but what you believe others want to see.
On this journey (as much as this is such a cliché term, it works) through discovering more about dyslexia and helping other girls with dyslexia, I've really found out so much more about myself.
How does learning how my brain works help me work out my true self? Well, to be honest, I think it's helped me prioritise self-care, putting my needs first and with that it clears up space in my mind to focus on ME.
And with that newfound focus, I feel ready to make truly challenging goals for the New Year. I'd like to caveat this though: I want to get these complete by the end of 2022. For me it's not about getting these done and out the way as soon as I can, it's about building the groundwork for achieving these goals. Moving into 2023, these to be complete would be the best Christmas gift I could give myself.
For Girls with Dyslexia I'd love to create a service to help you all. Whether that's 1-1 sessions, strategy sessions or general advice. I'm also an avid copywriter, so generating a thriving set of clients would be great to add to the list. But of course, neurodiversity sits first. For the purpose of keeping these light, I'm not going to add any more detail - type, funding, profit, none of that, because right now I don't care. For me, it's the art of getting something out there rather than the result.
Sadly, this blog does not count towards the goal. The upside though, is that I can really dedicate all 50 blogs to talking about dyslexia and neurodiversity, and my life as a neurodivergent. I always write - but it rarely gets published on my blog. I think that in 2022 I'd really want to publish whatever I write that may be remotely relevant and overcome my anxieties over people seeing my work (with my name on it at least).
If you're dyslexic, you'll know that this is a challenge. As a former bookworm, I know that I can overcome the challenge of reading as I've done it before - the key for me is to be consistent and not set too high a challenge. And the analytical side of me has certainly encouraged me - taking the average page number of the typical book I like to read (it's 350), taking the number of books I wish to read and dividing it by the number of days in the year. Frankly, I had a lot of fun setting this. It made the challenge less daunting and more exciting. It's actually really not that much, and it promotes consistency over quantity!
This would be a dream. There's nothing in the pipeline yet, but I'd love to work on 2 presentations. Whether that be in a school, to my colleagues or to a general audience, it's looking likely that I'll keep this desire for public speaking. Fun fact: I entered a public speaking competition in Year 7. I was also a Mathlete, so being in front of an audience is something I grew to love. I'm not one for getting nerves, but that's only when I'm just about to get onto the stage. What I need the kick up the ass for is putting myself out there. That's the key difference - school is a platform which I don't have the privilege of tapping into anymore, I only have myself to move me forward.
This may be on a lot of people's lists, and it really should be my most important goal for the year. I'm leaving 2021 being very aware of my high usage - and unsuccessfully reducing it - but in 2022 I can do so much more to break the bad habits I've built up over past few years.
The cost of being on my phone is far greater as a neurodivergent - I honestly use it more to fuel my always-on brain, but by constantly being on it I'm strengthening the need to be on it. It's a never-ending cycle which I haven't broken. Will 2022 be my year? I suppose whilst this is the most important, it won't work unless my other challenges do.
Resolutions, resolutions, resolutions, fuck resolutions
Resolutions are dumb. Challenges are great. Resolutions assume that you need to turn your life around, that you're not happy until you unwrap a new life for yourself.
Challenges are much better. I'm happy where I am. But I can challenge myself to do better not for my image but for how I would feel - the image is just something that'll change as a result.
What're your New Year's goals?